Hyderabad for Dummies

Some points to note for people  new to hyderabad.

A) People here use the vigorous head shake for a affirmative and the negative.You need to be a mind reader to know if the yes is a yes or a no.I would advise that please look out for the word "nakko".That is the most definitive answer you can squeeze out of the vocally impaired.

B) A friend of mine had been to the local cd wallah to get a couple of pirated movies . When after perusing the long list of W(J)ackie chan's and Bruce Li's I think he surrendered to the abyss and asked for one.The answer he received shook him to the core.No offence meant for our gay counterparts but the part was a little shocking for my hapless friend. The cd wallah told him in what i quote "kal touch karo , mein batatun". Apparently translated to human readable language that means : "touch me tomorrow  and then I will tell you". After a few very uncomfortable moments my friend got the import of the diatribe.

C) Whilst I was new to hyderabad; the myriad pallies, chowkis and bads were alien to me.So in absence of all directions on the roads I had to take recourse to asking people directions. Those days it was either public transport or my two good legs. Evertime I asked directions the average hyderabadi would look up from his Irani chai, point to a vague direction and say those fatal words : "Ageich Hai.Thoda chalte chalo."
Literally translated to human readable form its just in the alley ahead.Walk on. After a few trials I found that just ahead here does not signify distance.Hyderabadi's are good with directions and the tend to overtly exaggerate on the distance on the lower side. So invariably when asking the average Hyderabadi spare a moment to ask them, Can I walk to the place or do I need transport ? Next time you are here be forewarned.

I will endeavour to find more of the hyderabadi quirks.Stay tuned. In the meanwhile get hold of that local movie called Angrez .Trust me that is hilarious.

Signing off with
"Wo nakli scent tera baba lagata"

And please its called Yellow.There is no god damned word aello.